10 months ago, former Marine Michael Kocher wrote on surfporn site Beach Grit:
As I’ve written on Beach Grit before, I have a cancer that attacks the spinal cord. Two weeks ago, I was told treatment included an 80 per cent chance of at least partial-paralysis below the waist, sexual function included.
No surfing, no snowboarding, no swimming, no wakeboarding, no running, no walking, no fucking, no living and thus, for me, no thank you.
They’re giving me eighteen to thirty months, give or take six months on either end. Every six months that I survive the chance I’ll die in the following six months increases exponentially.
Wait what? That doesn’t even make sense. No doctor is going to be like “well, bro, you’re going to die in up to thirty months unless you live through the next eighteen which means you’ll definitely die by twenty.” No, guy. Just no.
That little red flag aside, Kocher goes on to say that the worst part about being told you’re dying from cancer isn’t dying from cancer but rather “how needy everyone around you gets all of a sudden.” The nerve of those people believing your made-up story about dying, what a bunch of needy assholes they are.
In February of 2015, Kocher launched this now removed GoFundMe page, urging donors to contribute to his “tumor fighting fund.”
Alas, as the The Ralph Retort reports, it seems that dope — not cancer — caught up with this young man.
Kocher has apparently been carted off to jail and is currently “Jailing at DCC” if you can believe the Facebook posts of a proven liar with access to the internet during his self-proclaimed imprisonment. I mean who the hell changes their profile picture to a pic of handcuffs before going to jail? Oh right, a sociopath.
Is it true? Who the hell knows. We do know he was arrested a few days ago and we do know his GoFundMe page has disappeared. Take the rest with a big fat grain of salt. Or a line of cocaine, if that’s your poison.