Welcome back to GoFuckYourself Friday, our week in review starring the dumbest crap we’ve seen on GoFundMe for the week.
We’re all busy so let’s skip the pleasantries and get straight to the morons.
It has to be a joke, but generally a joke includes a punchline or at least something remotely funny. “running out of tweet funds . £1 = 1 tweet please help i wneed retweets to survive,” he writes. Judging by his tweets, someone should start a GoFundMe page to make them go away.
Moving on… Planning is super important, so I guess we can’t really hate on this guy in Missouri for taking to GoFundMe to make sure he’s stocked up by year end.
Despite the fact that he’s asking for $1000, the details are sparse. “Trying to throw a giant party for the end of the year,” he wrote. And? What do you need, bro? Booze? Streamers? More booze? Help us so we can help you, man.
This guy wants to “buy” Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl. Having seen the Foo Fighters live back in ’94 before they were a thing (ooh check me out I’m so old and stuff), I have to say this isn’t a terrible idea.
“Hi, I’m Frank Pain. I’d like to buy Dave Grohl. Yes, that dude that’s in the Foo Fighters and was in Nirvana.
I’m his biggest fan and figured I can round up enough scratch to purchase him so we can hang out and high five and shit. Heck, I may give him a bro-hug or two as well.
I’m not 100% the amount I’m asking for will buy him. Hell, I’m not even sure if it’s legal to purchase another human being without being some central part of a 20/20 tv special. But, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?”
He claims the GoFundMe page was all in good fun and that he never thought anyone would actually donate. Since they have, he says he’ll be making a donation to Autism Speaks. What’s wrong with buying Dave Grohl? I mean that was the plan, right?
If your GoFundMe page isn’t successful, perhaps you should take a long hard look at yourself and the things you’re saying out loud on the internet.
— X (@XLNB) May 2, 2016
That’s all we’ve got for now. Have a wonderful weekend and safe crowdfunding, y’all!