So, I wanted to avoid Facebook for the next, oh, four or so years but I can’t for a number of reasons, least of which that I’m the only one running the ole GoFraudMe Facebook page and also I have very important cat pictures to share. Dark clouds of doom have surrounded Richmond skies this afternoon, meaning I’m trapped inside when I’d rather be pounding the trail working out my complicated feelings of both relief at this whole election thing being over and disappointment in, well, everything, but alas, it isn’t meant to be today. So, here I am on Facebook looking closely at the many, many, many GoFundMe campaigns shared in this GoFundMe campaign sharing group I’m in (for research purposes, ya know).
The requests posted to that group are mostly predictable and pass a compulsory check on my end. First, I run the campaign image through a reverse image search. Then, I copy a small bit of text and run that through Google to check for duplicate content (that’s how this jackwad got busted for his fake cancer patient scam). So far so good.
Until I get to this one:
“My mother is 68 years old and is physically disabled with torticollis which is a rare condition in which the neck muscles contract, causing the head to twist to one side. Limiting her abilites,” reads the campaign, which was started on September 15 of this year. What the hell is torticollis? As a cat lady, I immediately think of the many contemptuous tortoiseshell cats I’ve had the grave misfortune of knowing in my life, and wonder if it’s some horrible disease that turns someone into a giant stubborn asshole.
Tortitude: it’s real
Alright, back to this campaign and whatever the hell torticollis is. Off to Google we go!
A rare condition in which the neck muscles contract, causing the head to twist to one side.
Apparently it is more frequently seen in infants, but does happen in adults so, OK, that sucks but could be legit, let’s get to the rest of the GoFundMe campaign text:
She’s been through a really rough cycle this past month from being defrauded and scammed. She has had troubles with her utilities and getting her required medications. She heard about an Obama utilty grant that could help her out with her financial troubles. So like many she fell for the scam, and from this she had several utility bills disconnected that were never funded and caused the disconnection and causing them to pile up. To where she could not take care of them. Her bank account emptied causing many overdraft charges and a substantial negative balance. The utility companies will not work with her in any way. They have declinded to do any payment plans. She has tried to get help from energy assistance and gas but they have no funds availible. Im asking for any help to get her out of this bind.
That sounds terrible and sorta checks out, so what about the campaign photo?
Just a quick click and a drag, and boy do we get a hit.
A search of the person who claimed this was a “frienfs mother” [sic] yields several removed campaigns and some, er, interesting results as well but we’ll leave that to the freelance internet detectives for now while we work on further digging.
Do these idiots not know how Google works? I mean, just as easy as they can steal pictures of Google Images, so can those of us who hate people like them perform a quick search of our own to crosscheck the stolen photo. Get it the hell together, you lazy fucks.
As of press time, the campaign is still live. I mean, it’s been sitting there since September, of course it is. You can find it here if you’d like to report it [Ed. note: a previous version of this post had the wrong link because I’m dumb, the campaign has since been removed].