Meet Tamer Moumen. Tamer is a giant dildo, and sucks at the stock market.

According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office for Eastern District of Virginia, Moumen ripped off old people and got them to liquidate their retirement accounts so they could invest in his crappy Ponzi scheme:

Tamer Moumen, 39, defrauded over 50 clients between 2012 and 2017. Moumen falsely told investors that he was a successful trader who consistently beat the S&P500 and was overseeing tens of millions of dollars through his company, Crescent Ridge Capital Partners. Moumen encouraged dozens of clients, including many who were nearing retirement age, to liquidate their other investments and retirement accounts, and invest with him. Moumen did not tell investors that he actually had no experience managing a hedge fund, had a history of losing money in the securities market, and was relying on investor money to support his lifestyle and pay personal expenses. For example, Moumen used investor money to help finance the purchase of a $1 million personal residence in Leesburg, Virginia, a new Tesla, and to repay old investors. In nearly all instances, Moumen lost or spent his clients’ money within a matter of weeks or months of their original investment, but would conceal those facts by providing statements that showed the investment as steadily growing.

Let’s be fair, $1 million doesn’t get you much in Northern Virginia. That said, this guy is King Douche of the Douchepeople.

But wait, there’s more! You knew there had to be.

On September 27, 2015 Moumen fired up a fancy GoFundMe campaign using a graphic photo most of us recognize of a Syrian boy taken by Turkish journalist Nilüfer Demir. He sought to — you guessed it — help out refugees.

Tamer Moumen refugee GoFundMe

“Hello, my name is Tamer Moumen and I’m a U.S. citizen looking to make a difference. Last week I attended an emergency fudraiser hosted by Islamic Relief. Not only was that fundraiser successful in raising over $200,000 for the over 1 million refugees fleeing to Europe, this event truly opened my eyes to this incredible calamity. I was truly inspired. We were told stories of death and despair as innocent men, women, and children risk their lives to get to Europe. And their troubles don’t end there – they have no homes, no food, no transportation, no cell phones — and all the other things we take for granted on a daily basis,” he wrote. You see where this is going.

Tamer Moumen GoFundMe
One update states that “we will probably exhaust most of our funds early as we have taken on some very large projects in Bekaa Valley (host to several hundred thousand refugees scattered among dozens of camps)” and goes on to say he partnered with SAWA for Development & Aid — we have reached out to them — to “collaborate” on several projects including:

  • Building a kindergarten for 60 students from the ground up
  • Providing the infrastructure for a vocational school for women
  • Distribution of much needed supplies to the families in camps

Well, $30,558 later, the campaign is gone. It seems it was still accessible up to May 12 [archived here], which is coincidentally the date the DoJ shot out the press release announcing Moumen’s guilty plea in his $9 million investment fraud case. OH WAIT, we forgot the important part of that press release. Here it is:

According to the statement of facts filed with the plea agreement, beginning in 2015, Moumen was involved with two fundraising efforts that solicited donations to benefit refugees, including a GoFundMe campaign and the Northern Virginia Refugee Fund. Moumen had sole control of the donated funds, some of which he transferred into accounts in his name, where the money was commingled with investor funds. Moumen used money in these accounts to pay personal expenses.

So not only did this jackhole rip off unsuspecting old people who watch Jim Cramer, but refugee kids too? Good Lord, man. Even Bernie Madoff didn’t stoop so low, you need to work on your Ponzi game bruh.

Anyhoo, Moumen will be sentenced on July 28 and he faces up to 20 years, though it’s unlikely he’ll serve anything even close to that.