In the 2+ years I’ve been doing this, I’ve noticed particularly in the last year or so that the Internet has had it with bullshit GoFundMe campaigns. Not the scammy ones — they were over that a LONG time ago — but the completely tone deaf ones that make you wonder how these people have gotten through life up until this point.

A few examples:

And now we add a young lady from New Hampshire to that list. You see, the 16-year-old parked in a handicapped spot and got a ticket for it, as someone who isn’t disabled absolutely should. She’s only been driving for what, two months? Time to learn that lesson now, lest she spent her entire licensed adulthood taking up parking spots meant for people who actually need them.

So she puts up a GoFundMe. Asking for $250, she writes:

My name’s Ashley and I am raising money for a parking ticket, I know this sounds very silly but I’m serious. My friends and I wanted to walk down Elm street so I parked my car on a side road, there was a sign that said I could park there but what I didn’t notice is that it was a handicap parking space. I would never purposely park in a handicap spot. Next time I will be very careful and not make the same mistake! I would pay this ticket if I had a job but I do not, so if you know of a job let me know. Please help me pay this ticket by donating! Anything helps!

Zero awareness here, you guys. Just admit you fucked up and move on. Not only does she expect people to pay for it, she expects them to find her a job too. This chick is in for a rough life at this rate.

Rightfully so, she got roasted for this plea. And a bunch of suckers with a few bucks to spare coddled her and said people are just assholes. Well yeah, they are, but sometimes they have to be. Maybe if her parents had been bigger assholes she wouldn’t be in this situation.

The New Hampshire Union Leader headline reads “Parking ticket post makes teen a cyberbullying target” which is so hilarious I can barely stand it. Um, you guys, when you ask the Internet for money, you need to accept that they might have some shit to talk about it. That isn’t cyberbullying, it’s a consequence of putting up a GoFundMe campaign expecting everyone else to pay for your stupid mistake.

The article reads:

A Memorial High School student has drawn the wrath of Internet trolls after she launched an online effort to raise money to pay off a $250 parking ticket.

Facebook posters have used profanities and vulgarities in deriding Ashley Mathieu-LaFrance, 16, as stupid, lazy, spoiled and trash.

One person suggested she create a porn video to raise money, another that she try amateur night at a gentleman’s club.

A website has called her a “rich Manchester chick,” and said her parents have failed her.

“A website” is Turtleboy Sports and if you’re at all familiar with them, you know they don’t hold back. Still, a kid trying to pay off a parking ticket is nothing compared to the “fupasloths” and “gutter muppets” Turtleboy usually features on the site. You’re talking about people who sell foodstamps and drive around in a rape van looking for drugs yelling “fuck the police,” if anyone deserves to get roasted, it’s them.

Anyhoo, TB writes:

A rich chick from Manchester parks the Lexus her Daddy bought her in a handicapped spot, prevents actual handicapped people from parking, and now wants society to pay for her ticket?

Yup. We have officially hit rock bottom. It does not get any lower or more pathetic than this.

Here’s an idea Smashley – get a job. Ya know, like most teenagers do when they buy a car. Oh wait, you didn’t buy anything. You were handed a luxury vehicle. Because your parents have completely failed you, and have raised you to believe that everything is free, and it’s society’s job to bail you out.

Why not tell Mommy and Daddy about how you parked in a handicapped spot and have them cover it? Oh, that’s right. They’ll probably threaten to take away your cell phone for an hour. God forbid. Better jump on the Internet and embarrass yourself in front of thousands of people instead.

What I have yet to figure out is why some people like Ashley are absolutely slaughtered for daring to ask the Internet for cash, while still others like Daily Dot writer Miles Klee mostly get off the hook for exactly the same “offense,” excluding a tweet or two berating him. Much cyberbullying, so harassment wow.

One piece of advice Klee generously gives would-be e-panhandlers: “Acknowledge what a piece of shit you are. There’s no shortage of desperation on sites like GoFundMe—remember the woman who wanted to raise cash to get a 420 tattoo removed from her forehead? Might have worked if she had any self-awareness about her idiocy.”

Surely no one told Klee he should try his hand at porn.

The good news for Ashley is that she made her goal and then some, so she can now pay off her parking ticket, blow the other $125, and laugh her ass off at how stupid people are. Other people, not her. Nah, she got in the news for being “cyberbullied,” she played this one like a fiddle. An actual grown adult wrote that headline, I can’t with this you guys.