Happy day after Election Day! What a nail-biter, huh. Social media is borderline unusable for the next few days (I get it, you’re upset), but I’ll still be here in my cave bringing you the latest in GoFundMe scam news. Funny that my greatest comfort in these tumultuous times is a bunch of scamming assholes faking cancer and stealing from funeral funds. Listen, I covered the financial crisis as it happened back in 2008, we can get through this. Granted, the economy is still as fucked as it ever was despite rosy stock market numbers (well, prior to last night anyway), but we’re all still here right? Right.
Moving on… we knew it was coming. Even before Trump’s win was a foregone conclusion, so many people were searching How to Immigrate to Canada they broke the damn site. You guys. You had months to figure this out, election night is not the time to start doing your research.
O Canadaaaaaa
Listen. Canada doesn’t want you. Sorry but it’s true. Well, Canada might want you if you’re a highly skilled worker but if you’re so broke that you can’t move to Canada without a GoFundMe campaign, Canada definitely doesn’t want you. They’re gonna wanna know just how many loonies you’re bringing with you before they even consider letting you in to stay. Broke asses need not apply.
That isn’t stopping aspiring future Canadians from putting up GoFundMe campaigns anyway.
“Moving to Canada” is about as original as “give me a million dollars.” Seriously, y’all need new material. If you really, truly want to move to Canada, get the hell off your ass, sell all your crap, and pay for it yourself.
p.s. you now have 4 years to save up those pennies. Not that a re-election in 2020 is likely. But, you know, plan and stuff anyway.