*sigh* Obviously Harambe the gorilla — who was killed this weekend at the Cincinnati Zoo after a child climbed under the fencing and fell into his enclosure — didn’t have life insurance. As a captive animal, he didn’t need it. But that isn’t stopping GoFundMe users from slapping up pages to raise money for him anyway.
Case in point: Jonathan William Shantz of Beverly Hills, CA is asking for $10k for “raising awareness for the safe study of Gorillas at the Cincinnati Zoo.”
Kathy Workman-Zwilling here is asking for $10k, though it isn’t clear what for. A memorial or something? Don’t ask questions, just send money because feelings.
But wait, there’s more! Chris Roberson of Houston, TX would like to “help” Harambe to the tune of $5,000. Does Chris know Harambe is dead? And that even if he were alive, he would likely have no concept of money? Oh well, send money!
Edit: the gorilla pictured isn’t even Harambe. It’s Koko with her kitten Smoky. Derp.
And then we have Gustave Lefevre asking $25k to “help fund preserves that will create safe environments to prevent further hunting and deforestation of the Gorilla’s natural habitat.” Bruh. Do you even realize what it takes to create a preserve?
A “burial fund” for Harambe has already been removed from GoFundMe. You know they’re busy little bees over there at GoFundMe HQ removing the evidence of would-be scammers’ slimy fundraising pages.
Another removed page:
Finally, we have a single GoFundMe page for Harambe that is doing it right. Heather Housh is raising money on behalf of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund, which means every penny (minus GoFundMe fees and whatnot) goes directly to the charity.
Good job, Heather. The rest of you? Into the gorilla enclosure moat, you leeching maggots!
Update: the GoFundMe pages just keep on coming. Who knew “justice” goes for exactly $20,000?
And another:
LOL, Better Call Saul!
