I have no idea who this person is because I don’t really keep up with the esteemed double penetration industry, but let’s talk about her anyway.
In March of last year, 20-year-old Teanna Trump (oy, no relation to a certain president-elect) nee Keanna Jones was busted in Oklahoma with a sizeable amount of marijuana. An ounce? Half a pound? Nah. Six whole pounds.
I got caught with 6lbs of weed I was in oaklohoma
— ₮eanna ₮rump (@TeannaTrump) March 12, 2015
She picked up a possession with intent to distribute charge, which she pleaded guilty to the following October. This past June, she was sentenced to 180 days in jail and got out on December 9.
On December 14, she created a GoFundMe campaign to “get back on her feet.” I’m going to resist the obvious joke about working on her back here because this is a classy website God damnit.
She wrote:
I was just released from prison a week ago. I was put on supervised probation and I’m not aloud to leave the state. I’m trying to get back on my feet so I can continue to please my fans. Spoil me and I’ll spoil back …
Xoxo❤️
-Love, Teanna Trump
Yeah, well, that didn’t last long. The campaign URL now leads to a Page Not Found on GoFundMe, but we saved a cached copy here.
It’s unclear who exactly took it down, though GoFundMe is notoriously prudish when it comes to adult performers using their platform. Add to that, Ms Trump (LOL I can’t type that with a straight face) announced shortly after she fired up the GoFundMe campaign that she’s happy to take Venmo payments all direct-like and shit.
This is my real venmo pic.twitter.com/yzMp8R6UTI
— ₮eanna ₮rump (@TeannaTrump) December 14, 2016
Now, you might say GET A JOB but here’s the thing: as a porn star who cannot leave the state of Oklahoma, she’s fucked (no pun) as that fine state prohibits the filming of adult material. Of course, there’s always Starbucks but, you know, who wants to do all that actual work.
Good luck?